What Does That Mean??

Posted: July 31, 2011 in General

Hi! Welcome to my blog. 🙂

I spend a lot of time with young people and I LOVE working with and talking to teens: I’m a child and family therapist and a mom of 2 teenage boys. I work with all kinds of kids: kids who are adopted, kids who have step parents and multiple homes, kids in foster care who can’t see their biological parents, kids who live with relatives who aren’t their parents, and kids who live with mom and dad. My kids do the visitation thing, since their dad and I are divorced.

Now…on to the title of the blog: My boys breathe music. Between the 2 of them, they play at least 9 different instruments. We enjoy a variety of music, but the preferred genre is classic rock.

So…the title of the blog, Go To The Mirror, comes from classic rock. It’s the title of a song by The Who and is part of the rock opera, Tommy.

In this song, Tommy appears to be deaf, dumb, and blind to the adults around him: “completely unreceptive,” the song says. Yet, Tommy is longing to be heard, cared for, and understood.  

I think this is the perfect analogy for many teens and their families. They just don’t connect sometimes. The parents love the kids, and the kids love the parents, but the message isn’t getting through. The parent thinks the kid doesn’t listen. The kid thinks the parent doesn’t care.

As a teen, you’re trying to become more independent (totally normal,) and it can’t happen fast enough. Your parents see you trying to become more independent, but it’s happening too fast! (It’s HARD for us to see our babies growing up!) Some parents can deal with it pretty well (perhaps crying alone in their room at night,) and some parents don’t deal with it well at all (perhaps yelling, throwing tantrums, or crying openly to your utter mortification.)

Besides TRYING to be more responsible, you have a few other stressors in your life: am I wearing the right shoes, did I pass the test, what college am I going to go to, why hasn’t he texted me back, what’s that girl looking at, will I be able to hang out with friends this weekend, did someone hack my Facebook account? And the list goes on.

My hope with Go 2 The Mirror is to provide some tools and support on your journey to adulthood. If you would like to suggest a topic or ask a question, I would love to hear from you.

Although we may not have met, I’m excited for you! You are at a place in your life where you can choose your path – choose who you want to be in life. I don’t care if you’ve been to jail, had trouble in school, had difficulty making friends, you still have gifts, abilities, and the opportunity to succeed in life. Sometimes we have people in our lives who only see our mistakes or perceive some faults in us. This tends to cause us to overlook our talents and our passion. You need to go to the mirror and take an honest look at who you are. What do you love to do? What are you good at? What makes you special and unique? What do others like about you? What are you proud of? What are you going to bring to the world?

Go to the mirror, and write about who you see.

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